Being in the public eye is never easy, especially when you’re backed by a passionate and deeply invested fanbase. Take Thai idol Tawan Vihokratana for example. Signed to GMMTV, the actor, better known simply as Tay, rose to superstardom through series such as Dark Blue Kiss, Cherry Magic, and Peaceful Property alongside his longtime on-screen BL partner Thitipoom Techaapaikhun. For years he’s been a beloved (and vocal) ally for queer rights, domestic abuse survivors, and many other exceptional charities.

It’s one of his charm points. 

This last week, the Thai entertainment industry has been shaken by deeply disturbing allegations involving assault, abuse, and incest connected to one of Tay’s former co-stars and friends, Mild. The accusations involving her husband and his younger brother have sparked intense online discourse, pulling not only Tawan into the fallout, but numerous other celebrities and industry figures as well.

Let me be clear: I stand with victims of abuse. Always. The allegations being discussed are horrific, and if true, deserve to be treated with the seriousness and compassion they warrant. Supporting victims and advocating for accountability should never be controversial.

At the same time, I think it is important to separate that support from the knee-jerk demonization of everyone remotely connected to the situation.

The backlash against Vihokratana largely began after fans noticed that he had liked a social media post made by Mild, that was unrelated to the case – while details were still surfacing (and continue to do so). 

Realistically, that is something many of us do almost automatically. We see a friend’s name appear on our timeline, tap the heart, and continue scrolling without fully reading the post, the comments, or the larger context surrounding it. Social media has conditioned people into reacting instantly.

“The like happened before I learned about the news,” Tawan later clarified in a statement. “It was a way to support a friend who was being unfairly criticized. I do not support any form of domestic violence.”

He apologized, acknowledged the misunderstanding, and made it clear that he does not condone abuse. Yet for many online, that still was not enough because he did not issue the exact statement they wanted, in the exact wording they demanded, on the exact timeline they expected.

And that is where the conversation starts to become troubling.

You can support victims while also recognizing that not every person adjacent to a situation is automatically complicit. At this stage, the case is still ongoing. The allegations are serious, but they remain just that, allegations. None of us truly know what private conversations are taking place behind the scenes, nor should public figures be forced into performative declarations simply to satisfy online outrage cycles.

Holding space for victims and demanding accountability is important. But so is resisting the urge to turn every complicated situation into a digital trial. Especially for someone as removed from the case as Vihokratana. 

Again, the allegations are deeply disturbing, and my heart and support absolutely go out to the victim. But expecting someone connected to the people involved to navigate the situation with the same emotional distance as outsiders on the internet is unrealistic. I do not know these individuals personally. Tay does. That naturally complicates things in ways many keyboard warriors refuse to acknowledge.

Empathy for victims and compassion for the emotional complexity surrounding those connected to a case should not be mutually exclusive. We can support accountability without demanding instant public perfection from everyone orbiting the situation.

I hope this helps.